Wave upon wave

Grief and loss can be…well, weird. It stops you dead in your tracks. It disrupts everything. And your norm? Forget about it.

Over the last year, our family has had a TON of loss. It started back in February of 2018 when my dad passed away from a long battle with lymphoma. That was a huge blow. Then, the following week, we had a miscarriage and a hemorrhage where I almost lost my wife. That was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced.

Six months later in August, my Grannie passed away. Days later, our Aunt Nona passed. Six months after that, my wife’s Mimi passed away unexpectedly. Talk about when it rains, it pours!

Loss upon loss upon loss upon loss. It was pretty tough for a good stretch of life. Explaining death and loss to a four and two-year-old is not fun, let me tell you.

It felt as if loss and grief had come and set up shop in our house.

What could we do? I went to work. Jeg kept busy. We just kept our minds focused on the task at hand: living life. We talked about everything. We prayed together. We prayed over our littles.

We’ve always been taught that there are seasons in your life. That there will be times when things are really good and times where things will just plain suck. Check out Ecclesiastes 3:

“There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth: A right time for birth and another for death, A right time to plant and another to reap, A right time to kill and another to heal, A right time to destroy and another to construct, A right time to cry and another to laugh, A right time to lament and another to cheer, A right time to make love and another to abstain, A right time to embrace and another to part, A right time to search and another to count your losses, A right time to hold on and another to let go, A right time to rip out and another to mend, A right time to shut up and another to speak up, A right time to love and another to hate, A right time to wage war and another to make peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 MSG

To me, this season did more than just suck. It was flat out terrible. Grief just came in waves. Right when you were able to get your head above the first wave, a bigger one rolled in to push you back under. Wave upon wave just pushed us further from where we wanted to be, which was on the shore with peace.

I know, the Word says that there are seasons. I said it and referenced it just right up there. But that doesn’t make it any easier in the moment. “Well, why didn’t you talk to someone?” We did and it helped…for a time. But when you’re in a season of grief, and this is solely my opinion, other people have no idea what you’re feeling. Sure they could have experienced the same loss, but the same feelings? Nah bruh. I quit writing. Nothing felt the same, no matter how many folks I sought counsel from.

The biggest thing that has helped our family has been Jesus and leaning on the fact that every one of these family members had a relationship with Him. It’s like in 2 Samuel, when David lost his son. He prayed and fasted and slept on the floor waiting for God to move. When he learned that he had passed, David got up, cleaned himself up, and ate. Most importantly, he worshipped God. It’s his actions that have really pushed me during our season of grief.

His servants were astounded by his actions. They wondered why he did what he did. Why did he worship after he passed? He said:

“…why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.” Then David comforted Bathsheba, his wife…” 2 Samuel 12:23-24 NLT

He knew that he’d see him again, so he cleaned up and comforted his wife. And out of his season of grief, Solomon was born. The one who’d build the Temple. Literally, the wisest man was born out of grief and loss. How cool is that?

Things are better. Will they ever be the same? No. Not at all. But things don’t need to be the same. We have to grow, be stretched, and experience these things.

Psalms 30:5 says that, “weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.” And later, it goes on to say, “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!” (Psalms 30:11-12 NLT)

During your season of grief, take comfort in Jesus. That’s literally the only thing that can shine a little light in your valley. He loves you and will never leave you. Remember, there’s joy in the morning.

Have a great day folks! Leave a comment or two just to let me know y’all are still hanging out. Y’all stay safe out there.

When it rains…

Have you ever heard the expression, “When it rains, it pours?” Well, this particular season of my life has been exactly that. It’s almost been a live demonstration of Murphy’s Law. Just go look that one up when you have time. 

I’m gonna save you the details and abbreviate the happenings. Between extended family shenanigans, vehicular gremlins, and countless other crap…let’s just say the devil has been a giant prick and he thinks he’s got it all figured out. 

Well, he’s wrong. 

We recently finished a series at our church called “The Storms Just Kept  Coming.” You can find it here. At the time, I wasn’t relating much, but you put the Word in You when you don’t need it so that you have it when you do. 

When all this crap reared its ugly head, I was talking to the Wildman and he dropped yet another truth bomb on me. He said, “Well son, don’t let all this get you discouraged. Sometimes, you just need to put it down until you get it  out of your thinking. That may be a couple days or a couple weeks. But it’s gonna be alright.”

I’ve been thinking about the clouds and the rain and forgetting about the One who reigns and brings the promise after the rain. 

For some odd reason I forgot the second part of John 10:10. I focused on the devil of this world and all his fiery darts. We’ve been taught for years that all he wants to do is steal, kill and destroy. But so often we get caught in the rain, we forget that Jesus is the One who brings us life and brings it to us in abundance. 

But why do dark times come with rain? Do we always have to go through it? The Word tells us that simply being Christians, we’ll have hard times (John 15:18-20) and that we just need to keep on truckin. What you are facing is no different to what others of the faith have faced. 

Look at Psalm 23. It says “even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” Did you see that? You may be in the valley of the shadow of death, but it doesn’t say camp out and have a pity party. It says you are going through it. That means there is a light on the other side. Plus, He’s with you the whole time, comforting you. 

To go even further, Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” God already has a plan for you outside of the rain. Because you are special to Him as He will never let you down. 

So, despite all of the stuff the devil has been trying to use to get me down, I have the assurance knowing that God’s purpose for me is for good. I just have to dwell on His plan and not the discouragement like the Wildman so fondly reminded me. 

If that is too wordy and you have problem remembering all of those verses, look at it like this: When it rains, HE REIGNS.

Y’all be safe out there. 

Duck Tape and Baling Wire


Growing up on the farm, we had a TON of quick fix remedies. None of these were ever intended to be long term, but we could make it work if we had to. 

We learned at an early age how to cut cardboard just right to fit a broken window (which was recently kicked out while wrestling or knocked out with a baseball). Or how to tarp a leaky roof while in the rain. But probably the greatest of all remedies were Duck Tape and baling wire. 

Baling wire could cinch up a busted fence or serve as a quick hose clamp on a tractor. Duck Tape could patch up dang near any rubber material and make it waterproof for a short amount of time (sometimes indefinite, depending on the amount used).

The Wildman would swear by this philosophy. He always had a roll or two of each in the truck because, “You never know when something would come up.” I recall seeing numerous swather teeth held on by a few strategically placed wires instead of the traditional nut and bolt assembly. Tractor seats and shades were patched here and there with the silver savior. 

Looking back on the last few blogs, I could tell a pattern. Unmasked and Broken dealt with our flaws. The Lord put it on my heart to write about mending the brokenness that was unmasked to tie the “series” together. 

You see, just like on the farm, we try to mend our lives with temporary fixes. For example, you might be dealing with anxiety or depression. You know you have these issues and something has to be done to fix it. So you busy out the Duck Tape and baling wire to mend your life. This works, for a time. A week goes by with no incident or problems and you’re “cured.” But the Deciever is not so easily swayed. 

By the Deciever, I mean the devil. He’s the little god of this world. All he wants to do is to ruin your life. That’s evident from John 10:10 (“The thief cometh not, but that he may steal, and kill, and destroy”) and 1 Peter 5:9 (“The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping.”). He’s got you thinking that your quick fix is the solution to all of your problems. But really, you’ve only prolonged your suffering. 

The only way to actually mend your life is to follow the second portion of those verses that previously served as warnings. John 10:10 follows up it’s warning with “but I’ve come to give you life, and life in abundance.” Life is offered to us by Jesus. LIFE! A whole, complete life! Without spot or blemish! No depression, anxiety, fear or anger. Just a complete life in Him!

But the devil has you fooled into thinking the Duck Tape and baling wire are enough, when truly…only God is enough. The devil even has you fooled into thinking that you’re the only one. The absolute, 100 percent, only person who has ever dealt with any type of negative feeling. But the verses following 1 Peter 5:9 deals with that too! 

“Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:10-11‬ ‭MSG

WE get the final say in our life through Christ! WE get to be mended and fixed through His grace and His blood that was shed on the cross. Why settle for a temporary fix, when a forever fix is right there? 

Now is it going to be all puppies and rainbows from there on out? Heck no it’s not! You have to keep working and striving to be a better Christian than you were the day before. You have to remember that God’s mercies are new every day (Lam. 3:22-23) and being His kid, you get access to those!

I want you to be mended and encouraged not merely taped and cinched up for a time. But the time for mending is now!

Y’all be safe out there.