I’m sorry…ish


When a child gets caught doing something they aren’t supposed to do they immediately say, “I’m sorry.” They either feel a little remorse or they just don’t want to get in deeper trouble. 

Most of the time, they don’t want to get in more trouble than they already are in. This is the most basic of human instincts: self-preservation. 

Self-preservation will make people do all kinds of things. It will make them apologize for nothing or just to smooth over an altercation. It’ll make them say sorry just because “it’s the right thing to do.”

What does all of this have to do with our topic today? Well, all that being said, “I’m sorry” does not mean “forgive me.” 

Lots of times, the two phrases get tangled or misconstrued. We are raised to believe that they are one-in-the-same, interchangeable if you will. But they aren’t. Actually, they can’t be further from it. 

We’ve already established that self-preservation is a pretty basic human instinct, but, just for grins and giggles, let’s take a look at the definition. 

If any of you have lied at any time in your life, you know that this definition is true, especially when you saw your life flash before your eyes as the paddle swings towards your hindquarters. You knew it wouldn’t be as bad if you apologized or if you drug as many siblings down with you as possible. I digress.

Now on to forgiveness.Webster’s defines forgiveness as:


Now that’s a pretty good definition, but it’s a pretty good indicator why “I’m sorry” and “forgive me” are lumped together in the indistinguishable column. This is where we are going to start to separate the two. 

True forgiveness comes when one has a repentant heart. Meaning that they are truely remorseful for their actions. It’s not a knee jerk reaction to being caught, but a sincere, from the heart decision. Where does this logic come from? The Word of course!

In 2 Corinthians 7:10 it says, “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” Godly repentance will actually change things. A true repentant heart is necessary for one to achieve salvation through Christ. 

Well how do we know if we are truely repentant instead of just remorseful? Judas was remorseful for his betrayal of Jesus (Matt. 27:4.) Pharoah told Moses that he had sinned, but he just kept going forward with his actions (Ex. 9:27; 10:16.) But in Proverbs 28:13 it says that, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” That right there tells us that true forgiveness will follow true repentance. You can’t only drop a half truth on someone and expect that to be honored. 

We all have an obligation to seek forgiveness and to give forgiveness (Matt. 18:15) when we have wronged or have been wronged. But I believe, as in the same vein as salvation, to receive complete forgiveness, you have to come with an actual repentant heart. God will always forgive you and show grace (1 John 1:9) but you need to show a repentant heart, not just remorse for your actions. 

If in the end, you’ve done all of this. You’ve gone to God with a repentant heart and gone to those you have wronged with a repentant heart, the weight is now off of you and in their court. We’ve established that God will forgive you and cleanse you. People, on the other hand, will have a harder time with this. If they do what they have been instructed by God to do, you will be forgiven. But this doesn’t mean that things will just go back to normal. People are still…people. Trust has to be earned back and it may never go back to the olden days, but you can take heart that you have been forgiven. 

This may be a little heavy, but I know that there is a large group of people out there who need a little uplifting and guidance on this issue. Thanks for reading, y’all be safe out there. 

Till death…err, something like that…


After struggling for a topic to write about, I finally settled on one that I have been meaning to talk about for a few weeks: marriage. This post has been sitting in my draft bin for the last two months, I just couldn’t get the pen to write the words needed. 

Now, I know that this is an extremely broad topic to handle in a 600-800 word blog, but this one is its gonna be the tip of the iceberg. So bear with me as we walk through a few of these together.

According to the numbers, forever isn’t very long. Numbers from the Barna Group state that one-third of all adults have ended a marriage. That means that one out of every three people have been a part of a divorce. The General Social Survey, a demographic study conducted by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, found that Christians, like adherents of other religions, have a divorce rate of about 42%. The rate among folks who aren’t associated with a religion in America is 50%. (USA TODAY article, 2011)

It used to be a lot harder to even think about splitting up. A king had to imprison a few ladies and create his own church to do it one time. 
In America during the 20th Century, divorce was not completely unheard of, but it was a lot more low key. In the 1950s, the divorce rate hovered around 15 to 20 percent and sometimes hit 11 percent. The drive upwards didn’t gain much ground until California governor Ronald Reagan signed the first no-fault divorce bill in 1969. This allowed spouses to end a marriage without probable cause. Marriage was officially no longer a holy union for life, but more like a toy loved on Christmas morning, then forgotten and discarded in the following weeks. 

Now, I love being married. It has been like having a sleepover with your best friend, which is pretty awesome.

But marriage isn’t always sunshine and roses. For some, it started out on a lie and just snowballed into a image to upkeep. Next thing they know, they hate one another and are just being civil until the kids grow up.

 Just looking around, it seems like divorce has just become the norm of our day to day. The biggest question is this: Has it become easier to give up on a marriage than it is to build one?

A big part of understanding your marriage is understanding covenant. When a couple enters into marriage, they are entering in a covenant with one another and, more importantly, with God. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 in the New Living  Translation says, ” A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

To translate, a person alone kinda sucks. Two people, let’s take on the world. Three…ironclad.

It was ordained in the very beginning. Adam + Eve + God = Holy Union. He literally pulled Eve from Adam’s side, signifying that husband and wife work side by side, no one is higher than the other. 

However, over time we have fallen into the same trap that ensnared Adam and Eve. We have been lied to and told that we know better than what has been instructed of us. We continually eat the apple and hear the snake laugh at our faults. 

But there’s hope! 

You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again.

Psalm 71:20-21 ESV

No matter how hopeless or crappy things seem, God sees you. He’s right there, ready to pull you and your spouse out. 

As we wrap this portion up, go listen to this song. It’s a good one that def applies to the situation.

Thanks for reading and y’all be safe out there.