2018 part 3: And then came the flood…

Posted on by jactucke

*This is part three of my 2018 series. If you haven’t read parts one and two, I have linked them for your enjoyment. Go read those, then come on back to this one…it’ll still be here for you.*

Man, it’s great to see you again! I’m glad you made it back for another round. This one might not be as rough as the first two in this series, but it was just another obstacle in the series of hurdles that was 2018.

So, you last left me at the end of our miscarriage/wife’s hemorrhage. I dropped the hint in there that we decided to sell our house in the middle of the slash up there. Well, as they were shoving the sign in front and we’re walking the eventual buyers in, we were rushing to the hospital.

But good news! Those folks bought our place and we got the long paperwork started on another place. Everyone was just like, “Praise the Lord! Y’all need some sort of good news in the middle of all this mess!” Yeah…we really did.

We had to rent the old house from the new buyers for a month while we closed on our new one. Not a big deal at all. The new house was worth the wait. It was nearly double the square footage of our last and we had the room that we needed to grow as a family.

Signing day came and we couldn’t be more excited. We did our thing at the title company and the place was ours. There were a few errands to run before we got to walk into our new place, so our excitement got put on hold.

Well, a hour at the mechanic turned into three. We were stranded in the Hub and couldn’t get to our new place. So, we sent a friend over to the new place to be our body in the house for the city to turn on the water. No biggie. Except, the next call was the biggie.

Our friend called us and she had bad news. She said there was water in our living room. Not just a little bit either. Standing water in the living room, entry hall, guest room, kids room, front bathroom, and the kitchen. It was just freaking everywhere. So much of it was just ruined. The vinyl plank and hardwood was wrecked. This was literally the afternoon of the first day in the new house. Talk about major face palm.

Somewhere in all the hustle and bustle of getting the house situated, a hot water heater had been shifted and a rubber hose cracked. Somehow, the water was turned on before the city did, it wasn’t turned off and the leaky hose went undetected because no one was there to hear it. Hence, the ensuing flood.

To make a long story short, it took roughly a month or so to get things situated in the new place. Between insurance talks, the flood remediation, the demolition of the old flooring, and the installation of the new…I just wanted to throw my hands up and give it all up. But God…

That guy…He just amazes me. He meets you exactly where you are and puts people in your path who are going to lift you up and support you throughout whatever mess the devil tries to throw on you. I thank Him everyday for those folks who came right up beside us to help share the load.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Those friends, those people who are put into your life are indispensable. God gives us those people to sharpen us (Proverbs 27:17), to strengthen us (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12), and to build each other up (1 Thess. 5:11).

Just when you think you’ve been backed into a corner and you have no fight left in you, He sends someone to help hold your arms up like Hur and Aaron did for Moses, Exodus 17:12-14. The Israelites were losing the battle when Moses dropped his arms, but when they were up, they were straight gettin it! So, Moses’ friends, Aaron and Hur, came along side him to hold his arms up with him.

That’s how important having folks beside you is. God made it so that we don’t have to go it alone. That’s why it’s important to get plugged into a church, to get you connected with like-minded people who will be right there doing “life” with you.

This installment was pretty light compared to the previous ones, but the weight of the three instances together was just rough. It was enough to make anyone wanna just crawl up in a hole.

However, as the late, great Billy Mayes said, “But wait, there’s more!” If you have been keeping up with the months, we’re only in June at this point. More heartache was on it’s way. And you’ll hear about it next week. Y’all stay safe out there folks.

2018 – The End Was the Beginning

Posted on by jactucke

Man, it’s been a while! Life has been busy since the last time we talked. The oilfield has done it’s thing. The pandemic has done it’s thing. And politics have done their thing! Ha!

I wanted to talk to y’all today about a year that was a turning point for me and my family. It’s gonna be pretty heavy, but know this: God won. Because He always does. It got extremely dark for a while, but God was always there.

Let’s start in the beginning. A little bit prior to February of 2018, my dad, the Wildman, was diagnosed with two types of non-Hodgkins lymphoma: Large B Cell and Follicular. Now, one of these was curable and the other could be controlled and maintained. He had gotten to “ring the bell” and the everything went into remission the Summer of 2017, but the dragon came back with a vengeance in the Fall.

He was tired of fighting. He and my mom had to live in Houston close to MD Anderson so they didn’t wear themselves out driving the seven to eight-ish hour trip weekly. Time and poisonous radiation had taken their toll on the Wildman and when he was told that it was back, he tapped out. He was ready to be in his own home and finish the fight there.

The last time I saw my dad alive was a couple weeks before he passed. I was coming back from a job in Woodward, Oklahoma and was able to stop and spend a couple days with him and NanaRita. Wildman was a shell of his former self. My once jovial dad had been reduced to skin and bones. He couldn’t really move a whole lot without help. He had already begun to not eat as much and drinking was a chore as well.

My plan was to spend a day and then head back for work. But when I went to hug goodbye, he wouldn’t let me go. We cried together for a while. He was scared and so was I. I got to the end of the road and turned right back around. I just couldn’t leave.

We sat and watched his favorite cooking shows, just soaking up one another’s presence. I hurts my heart just thinking about it, but I still have the joy of that time, if that makes any sense. I left early that next morning to start off my work week again. I went not fully realizing but half-knowing that I wouldn’t get much more time with him.

A mere two weeks later, I get a call from my oldest brother, James. I was on day 14 of a stuck drilling rig that had just been a tough sucker. He tells me I’m gonna need to get some relief because Dad wasn’t going to last much longer. As the ladies on Crime Junkie say, I had full body chills all the way back to Levelland. James calls and says I can hold off until the next day to come. So I get to spend a few hours with Jeg and the girls before I head their way the next day, Valentines Day.

You know, you always folks talking about those “never forget” moments. The moments where you know exactly what you were doing when a certain event happened. Valentines Day 2018 was one of those moments for me. I had gotten on the road early to make the two and a half hour drive the next morning. I got to Lorenzo, about 40 minutes into my drive, and I got the call. I had stopped in to grab a quick bite at the local Allsups. When I hung up the phone, my stomach was rolling around my feet like a quarter. The Wildman was gone.

The ensuing days were a blur. Comforting my mom, my brothers, and my family was my primary function of course. It’s just hard to describe the feeling of that kind of loss. Those who have been through it completely understand and those who haven’t have been spared.

So many people told me how awesome my dad was. I heard, “They don’t make anyone like that anymore.” “Your dad was definitely one of a kind.” “He was the best man that I ever knew.” “Nobody ever had anything bad to say about your dad.” It was just surreal hearing folks refer to him in the the past tense.

You find out who really cares about you when you’re in these dark places. We had numerous friends make the trip to love on us. (Thank you for that by the way.) Phone calls and food were in abundance. It was just amazing. Then, on the following Sunday, we laid him to rest and the challenge of grieving began.

I’ll use a whole other blog to write about the grieving process because it’s just too complicated to include here. It just came wave upon wave. I’m thankful for my wife, who just loved on me and my mom the best way she knew how. And my sweet kiddos. Goodness, those girls are incredible.

I was back to reality by Tuesday and it just sucked. I had a peace that he was in Heaven with Jesus but it didn’t help that he wasn’t here. That being said, you never really get over that loss. You just lean into that peace and comfort that the Holy Ghost gives you. (More on this later.)

A verse that I really took in during this time was Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The cool thing about God, is that He hangs out right there with you. Right there in your hurt. You may be a slobbering mess, but the HG…He’s got you.

Time heals all wounds, they say. Who is they? I’m not exactly sure, but that next week…the wound from my dad’s death was about to ripped open and exposed all over again in the form of another set of tragedies.

But that’s gonna be next week in part two of “2018.” Feel free to leave a comment of encouragement or even a snippet of your own story. Y’all stay safe out there.